Fat Joe Cleared Of Sexual Assault Claims.

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Good News: word is that Fat Joe has been cleared of sexual assault allegations. The Madison, Wisconsin police have closed the investigation concerning sexual assault claims involving Joe & his entourage. According to reports, a woman made a claim that Joe & his peeps groped her inside him limo as they left a venue, heading to a hotel. Other reports claim that Ol’ Girl was with it, but once she realized there would be no exchange of funds she cried sexual assault. According to Joe’s attorney, HE is the real victim in this sordid tale.

“Making a false claim of a sexual nature in order to extort money is one of the most horrific accusations because it not only tarnishes reputations but has the potential to destroy families,” Fat Joe’s lawyer Dawn Florio Esq. said in a statement. “Mr. Cartagena wholeheartedly thanks his family, friends, and fans for their continued support, loyalty, and words of encouragement throughout this ordeal.”

Congrats Joe! now stay outta trouble & bring us some NEW music.

-“The BklynBandette.” Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.

John Travolta Extortionist Declares Innocence!

Accused John Travolta extortionist Pleasant Bridgewater continues to proclaim her innocence — and now she’s doing it through the words of Martin Luther King.

In a rare statement, Bridgewater swears “I do maintain my 100% total and complete innocence and will defend myself. As one great writer said, ‘No lie will live forever’ and ‘truth crushed to the Earth will rise again.'” Uhhhh-Huh.

Bridgewater and Tarino Lightbourne are both accused of demanding millions of dollars from John Travolta, in return for keeping a document related to Jett’s death secret. The first trial was famously declared a mistrial — they are due to be retried on September 6.

I ain’t mad at Sista Girl. To save my ass from going to jail I’d be quoting Dr. King, Sojourner Truth AND Queen Latifah. I don’t care.

-“The BklynBandette.” Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.

Katt Williams WANTED ….. AGAIN!

Two arrest warrants have been issued for comedian Kat Williams after he allegedly punched someone in the face at an Atlanta hotel back in November — and the whole thing was allegedly caught on tape … audio tape.  Arrest warrants for battery and false imprisonment were issued last month for Katt in Fulton County, GA, stemming from an alleged incident at the Four Seasons Hotel the night of November 12.  According to the police report, Merion Powers claims Katt invited him to the hotel to discuss a debt — when Powers sensed trouble was brewing he pressed the record button on his cell phone.  According to the report, “Mr. Williams was on audio recording stating that he did physically strike Mr. Power’s once in the nose” and that Powers’ nose “did show signs of swelling.” Katt was never arrested — but warrants were issued on December 28.

Now … a source connected with Katt claims it went down like this: Powers was attempting to extort the comedian over a musical recording made by Williams, and when Williams told Powers to pound sand, Powers’ pal called the hotel security, security called the cops, but the cops didn’t believe Powers and left without arresting Katt.

-“The BklynBandette.” Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.

The TIGER Defense: WTF?

The guy who allegedly masterminded an extortion plot against David Letterman is now using the Tiger Woods scandal as precedent to get the charges against him thrown out. Oh Really?

Robert Halderman’s lawyer, Gerald Shargel, filed legal papers asking that the charges against his client be dismissed. In the papers, Shargel notes that when news of Tiger’s infidelity surfaced, Mistress #1, Rachel Uchitel, reportedly inked a multi-million dollar settlement in return for her silence — with the help of Gloria Allred.

Shargel notes, “Their behavior was capitalist, not criminal.” Makes Sense.

Halderman’s lawyer says his client essentially just “offered to sell his very marketable story to David Letterman.” Shargel says that celebrity misdeeds have “significant fair market value” and they are “routinely suppressed through private business arrangements.”

Shargel’s point — Rachel and Gloria didn’t get prosecuted, so why should Halderman? Touche`!

-“The BklynBandette.” Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.